Why the "prime" ends and the feeling of living someone else's life appears
In this lecture, prime refers to the period when achievements came easily, energy was abundant, and opportunities lay ahead. For medical students, it often coincides with the early years: burning eyes, interest in anatomy and physiology, and a sense of having chosen the right path. Several years later, a different state sets in—fatigue, doubt, and the question, "Is this even my life at all?"
The author describes two typical crisis trajectories. The first is the feeling of having made the wrong choice: the wrong university, the wrong specialty, the wrong relationship, wasted years. The second is the paradox of the achieved goal: a person worked long and hard toward a residency, a position, relocation, or their own project, achieved what they wanted, and discovered that things didn't get any easier. Both trajectories lead to the same point—an existential crisis.
An important insight: a crisis almost never arises suddenly. It accumulates through small daily overindulgences—like extra pounds. Every "I'll endure a little longer" decision, every refusal to communicate with loved ones, and every instance of overworking to meet someone else's expectations seems trivial, but over several years they add up to a severe condition.
Step 1. Abandoning the illusion of a quick fix
The first mistake is trying to diagnose yourself instantly ("burnout," "fatigue," "depression") and get a quick prescription. The author emphasizes that some conditions genuinely require working with a specialist—a psychologist or psychotherapist, and sometimes a psychiatrist. However, naming the problem does not explain which specific life choices led to the current point.
If a person has been sliding into a crisis for several years, it is strange to demand a way out in two weeks. A realistic time horizon is from six months to several years. Accepting the long haul paradoxically makes life easier: the daily check-in of "Well, am I happy yet?" disappears, and the task becomes making consistently better decisions.
Step 2. Abandoning the attempt to resurrect a past version of yourself
The second trap is trying to literally restore the old prime: the same work routine, the same relationships, the same emotions. The problem is that the person who lived in that prime no longer exists. New experiences, mistakes, disappointments, and knowledge have emerged.
Using the past as a benchmark triggers an endless comparison of "me today versus the best version of myself," in which the real person almost always loses. It is more productive to accept that the old prime is over, but a new one can be built based on accumulated experience.
Step 3. Cutting away the excess, but deliberately
A key practical step is to remove from life what drains energy. The author illustrates this with a personal example: cutting more than 80% of the team in their own project after accumulating debts brought relief not in half a year, but almost immediately. Conclusion: a lack of energy is often linked not to a deficiency of it, but to an excess of objects that consume it.
At the same time, it is important to distinguish between reversible and irreversible decisions. Before taking a radical step, you must ask how easy it is to roll back the consequences if the decision turns out to be wrong. Recommended softer strategies:
- When facing a hated job—reduce emotional investments, build a 6–12 month financial cushion, study the market, try a different format.
- In relationships—start an honest conversation, check the other person's willingness to change, rather than slamming the door immediately.
- In studies—stop building your entire identity around the university, reduce the workload wherever possible, and only then consider an academic leave or dropping out.
After reducing the pressure, unnecessary elements often drop away on their own, while truly important ones remain.
Step 4. Don't grab onto the very first new life that comes along
A dangerous point in a crisis arrives when things start to feel easier. The newly freed space is frighteningly empty, and an urgent desire arises to fill it with a new job, a new project, new relationships, or relocation. The author describes their own "second round": after stepping away from business, they took up profitable marketing that was meaningless to them and, after a few years, returned to the same symptoms—energy depletion and loss of meaning.
For a medical student, this might look like a hasty departure from a clinical specialty into the first offered niche—a pharmaceutical company, a medtech startup, management—just because it pays better or is easier. It is sometimes more useful to maintain the emptiness after a crisis for a while rather than filling it with whatever comes along.
Step 5. Choosing a direction for the next 5–10 years
The main question of the next stage is not "what do I want tomorrow," but what kind of life do I want to build over a 5–10 year horizon: with what people, for the sake of what goals, and what problems am I ready to solve for a decade straight. For a medical professional, this might be a choice between clinical practice, science, teaching, medical journalism, digital projects, or healthcare organization.
After a crisis, opportunities begin to flow in—financial, prestigious, interesting. An internal filter is needed: does the offer bring you closer to the desired life or lead you away from it? If it brings you closer, take it; if not, decline it, even when the offer looks attractive.
Prime as a side effect
The author formulates a key thesis: prime is not a goal, but a side effect of a properly structured life. When destructive elements disappear, meaningful ones appear, and daily actions align with the image of the person you want to be, energy and interest return on their own.
The new prime does not look like the old one: it has less carelessness, but more understanding of why you wake up in the morning. The feeling that "the best years are behind me" often signifies not the end of life, but the conclusion of its previous chapter. The task is not to bring back the past, but to build the next phase.
Key points
- An existential crisis accumulates over years and cannot be resolved in a week—a realistic recovery horizon is from six months to several years.
- Trying to recreate a past prime is useless: the former version of yourself no longer exists, and your focus must be on the new one.
- Often the problem is not a deficit of energy, but an excess of objects where it goes; liberation begins with cutting away the superfluous.
- Before making radical decisions, it is important to distinguish between reversible steps and a "one-way ticket."
- A dangerous moment occurs right after relief sets in: the temptation to fill the void with the first available opportunity leads to a second round of crisis.
- A long-term benchmark is the question of what kind of life you are ready to build for 5–10 years, rather than what will solve current pain.
- Some conditions require professional help from a psychologist or psychotherapist, and this does not replace working on one's lifestyle.
- Prime returns as a consequence of honest decisions, rather than as an independent goal.